It’s Father’s Day. I’m in the office. I called my dad and left him a voicemail, because he got called into work, too.
He is now a driver for an assisted-living facility Upvalley (that means St Helena, for the non-Napkins reading this) (Napkins means “people from Napa”. It sounds like “munchkins” and I think the idea is to take the piss out of people who take Napa too seriously.) Anyway, my dad and I are not close. He sends me text messages when he receives overdue parking ticket notifications. When he calls just to say hi, I’m always a little surprised. I guess my mother does enough checking in with me for both of them.
Meanwhile, the NY Times wants you to know that “Gay Couples Find Marriage is a Mixed Bag.” Uh, really? Apparently some of the couple who married after Massachusetts legalized gay marriage have since divorced. This is news, people.
What pisses me off about this article is that we’re somehow supposed to find it revolutionary or surprising that homosexual couples have relationship issues just like straight couples. Apparently they sometimes rush to the altar and break up later. And sometimes they have kids together and then don’t know how to deal with that if the marriage doesn’t work out. And sometimes one partner wants to get married but another doesn’t.
If this sounds familiar, it’s because you probably have family, friends and colleagues, both straight and gay, who have gone through the same stuff. Welcome to everyday life, NY Times.
But it seems the reporter found that it was much more fun to write about couple having problems than happy ones. Which is fine…except that it gives readers the false impression that gay couples are having more problems than not. This is prejudice, but it’s really insidious. The article never comes out and says that gay marriage is more problematic than straight marriage. But by devoting more attention to couples with relationship problems, this makes it really easy for bigots who are passing petitions around in California to justify being ignorant.
And really, the last thing our radical conservative friends is more justification for their ignorance.
Sooooo…this begs the question: how could the NY Times do a better job reporting on the gay marriage? On the one hand, I want to say: not at all. Stop treating the fact of gay people and their relationships as something we should all be concerned about. Maybe publish a full page ad that says something like: Get over it. Maybe do an analysis of how society’s prejudice might be putting excessive pressure on gay couples – but they still fall in love and want to get married, so let’s just leave them to it.